I've fallen victem to a Hellraiser obsession lately. From the action figures, to finally renting the two movies in the series I haven't seen yet. It's interesting to be honest, I haven't had a horror bender in quite a while, so over all I'm quite happy with things at the moment. I submit to you little mini-reviews of the Hellraiser films, and specifically why I liked them.

Before we begin, the reason I like the Hellraiser films in general is that most of them are grounded in "Cosmic Fear." What is cosmic fear? Well basically it is one of the two basic ways to scare people with horror. The other way is the Uncanny. The Uncanny is put simply the familiar coming back to haunt you, and perhaps the familiar was your enemy all along. Such as Zombie movies, Zombies are your friends and loved ones "infected" with the zombie plague, and hell bent on killing you and eating you. Cosmic Fear is finding out the world you thought you knew simply isn't true anymore, and reality as you know it has been a complete lie. A good example of this is "In the Mouth of Madness." In that movie the main character finds out that reality is fluid, and an author in the vein of HP Lovecraft, can with enough readers, rewrite reality. For if enough people believe in his horror fiction, then the horror fiction becomes reality. Hellraiser movies are Cosmic Fear because in a sane and rational world, you solve a puzzle box, open a gate to "hell" and summon the cenobites who come give you an experience "beyond pain and pleasure." Anyhoo....

Hellraiser: This is the original and frankly it is kind of a bad movie. Simply because the acting is pretty terrible in parts, and the effects have that special cheesynesss we saw in the early 80's. Not so much in the makup or character design, the first batch of Cenobites (baddies of the films) have the best designs until way later in the series. No it's that new effect where you could have that neon marker thing on your film. The stupid box just glows yellow for lots of stupid reasons, and it just looks bad by todays standards. They way over did it. Anyhoo the story is pretty good, and it sets the rules which are (mostly) obeyed for the rest of the films. Although the first time I saw it, it really disturbed me. 7 thumbs up.

Hellbound; Hellraiser II: I think the sequel is probably the best in the series. It still has the cheesy neon, but the story is loads better. Although things happen in it that make absolutely no sense. Such as why did Dr. Channard fight the other cenobites and not join them, what did the originals do that was so bad. Was it punishment for what happened in the first film? Who knows. What makes Hellbound better is that we actually get to see "hell" or the Labyrinth as they call it, and "Satan" or Leviathan makes an apperance. What I like about it simply is I get the impression our idea of hell is based on what the reality of the Labyrinth is. I dunno, there is just a coolness about it that... well is just freakin cool. I really like that "Satan" is just this double pyrmaid looking thing that is light a giant lighthouse of evil, thought that was a groovy touch. I like it what can I say. 9 thumbs up.

Hellraiser III; Hell on Earth: This is actually almost a good sequel. I mostly like it because Terry Ferrel is in it, AKA Jazea Dax from ST:DS9. But yeah basically this movie is sacralisious. Pinhead says and does some pretty frelled up things in this movie. It fails because it changes the rules of the Cenobites. From Leviathan making Cenobites from those who really deserve it, to Pinhead making them all whilly nilly. Now you could say that they all deserved it, but honestly we don't see much evidence of that out of the DJ, or the Camera Dude that get turned. But damn, Pinhead does say some screwed up things. Anyhoo it's almost good but the end screws things up, and the "new" cenobites sucked chocolate salty balls. 6 thumbs up.

Hellraiser IV; Bloodlines: The series tries something new here with number four. It was a trend during these times to actually kill your main big bad monster. With the movies like "Freddy's Dead; the Final Nightmare," "Jason Goes to Hell," "Halloween V" etc. So the Hellraiser movies followed suit. However, at least in this case they decided to kill Pinhead in the way future, so they could keep making movies in the present. Anyhoo this movie is almost good as well. Rumor has it the original director left when they wanted to cut the movie down to less than 90 minutes. Anyhoo the origins of the box were cool, the present was alright, the future was kinda cool in a REALLY cheesy way. About the only saving grace in this film is again Pinhead says screwed up things, and the Chattering Beast was a nice addition to the Cenobites legacy. 6 thumbs up.

Hellraiser V; Inferno: A lot of people say that this is the weakest in the series... those people are full of dren. This is actually a fairly good movie. Is it a Hellraiser movie though? Well the answer is not really. But I still really liked it. Because basically it's a movie of a poor shumuck who opens the box and goes to his own personal hell, literally. It really changed the formula of the Hellraiser movies from Supernatural Horror, to more of a personal demons biblical thing. Also the new Cenobites the "Wiretwins" are a nice addition to the series. Much more creepy than any of the original cenobites because while Pinhead talks a lot about pain and pleasure, the Wiretwins are just about that! They are oddly seductive, and the sequence where they frelling put their hands INTO the guy, ouchy sex right there. In any event Pinhead basically becomes satan in this, welcoming the main character to hell, which is a bit of a change. 8 thumbs up!

Hellraiser VI; Hellseeker: Thematically this sequel is built on the foundations of Inferno. With a simular idea. Basically one guys journey into his own personal hell. However this is part V with a twist. They talked Ashley Lawrence into coming back to the Hellraiser franschise one last time to play her character from the first three movies, Kristy Cotton. Kristy takes a turn to the dark side in this one. Kristy's husband Trevor (who we learn was REALLY screwing around on her with no less than three women, and planning on killing her to get her inheritence), makes her open the puzzle box where she confronts Pinhead. Instead of fighting and being all brave and such like in the first two movies, we find Kirsty making a deal with the devil, and promicing to send 5 souls Pinheads way in exchange for her own. Not thinking apparently that by killing people she just might end up in hell herself but who is counting. Anyway Kristy herself bags four people, the three women, and a dude that Trevor was using to help kill Kristy. Trevor is of course the fifth soul, and it is his initial journey into hell that we witness. I find it terribly amusing that quite a few horror review sights hate Inferno so much, and say Hellseeker is such a good follow-up, when basically they are the same movie. Oh well. No good additions to the cenobites, although they returned to the classics and brought the Chatterer back from the dead (he died in Hellraiser II). Overall it was okay, and ordinarily I like dark characters. But considering how much of a goody goody Kristy was in the first two films, it's hard to imagine she would be capable of doing something like that. 6 Thumbs up.

There we go! There are two more Hellraiser films on the way. Hellraiser VII; Deader, and Hellraiser VIII; Hellworld. Deader is apparently about a cult that worships Pinhead, which seems to be a steal from the early plots of Freddy vs. Jason. Hellworld is kinda a copy of "The Ring" or maybe "Fear Dot Com." Basically somebody makes a video-game based on the box and all the fun that comes with it. Then extra special people get to come to a "party" made by the developers of the game, where they open a REAL box and wacky fun with chains with hooks follows. Hellworld is like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, except there isn't a fruity guy in a purple velvet suit, just a dude in a black leather skirt with pins all over his head.